Better days

I have been going into some weird depressive mood swings lately....I attribute it to the horrendous amount of junk food/fast food I have been eating and the heat and back pain.

This week started off kind of bad but was quickly snapped out of it. One of my very wise co-workers vented about some very tough situations he has been facing lately and it made me realize...."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STEPH!!?" There is no reason for me to be sad....about anything. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to spend my time dealing with sadness, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, negativity.... you name it!

Sure I may not be where I would like to be on various levels of my life, but I should make the best of it while I can.

I was given some great advice as well regarding parents. "One of the best things you can do to your mom and dad is to hug them and let them know just how much you love them. And do it as much as you can, because you never really know when we will never see them again." Needless to say I started crying after this haha See this is coming from a parent, who is dealing with somethings with his parent so I understood this and it makes sense to me. He knows what he is talking about. So I guess what I am trying to get at is, I know sometimes our parents don't always show us how much they love us....well in a way that is clear to us that they love us, but let us love them and verbally/clearly tell them we love them. I know they will appreciate it, even they may be like "what the hell is wrong with you?" Its just a facade, they really do like it lol

I think this can be extended to everyone in our lives that we love. So for all of my wonderful friends/family and everyone else in between....I LOVE YOU!! :) (Just picture my high pitched squeaky voice saying it hahaha lovely huh?)

Here's hoping that all of our days are as bright and beautiful as natures flowers (cause remember I really like flowers lol),

Namaste,
Steph

Limbo

You know whats fascinating to me? Everything. But for some reason I just haven't been feeling the same way for a while now. I wasn't sure if it was something that was just in my mind or what, but after a brief discussion I had with my mom I guess I have been acting differently lately. She noticed that I appear to not give a damn about anything anymore....and honestly that's probably right on the button. I just don't care about anything. For example, my poor kitty ran out of food yesterday (mind you she still had her canned food) and I couldn't make myself get out of the house to go buy her food. My mom noticed this because she's used to me running out and getting my cat food as soon as she needed it.

I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like myself. I feel like I am in limbo. Its kind of starting to scare me because, well this isn't me. I don't know if it is all related to the accident last month, if im still adjusting or what. But all I know is that I haven't been feeling 100% for sometime now. And for someone close to me to let me know that I have changed and that they noticed somethings off it's pretty scary.

Honestly I just hope that its my nervous system recovering from being all shaken up and what not. I pray that things get better....soon because this moping around feeling all blah is not working for me, I don't like it at all.

A cure all for this feeling? I would say a nice long vacation away from everything that is bogging me down....everything lately. I need out of Yuma, would anyone like to join me in LA, NY or London?? :) Yea right, theres too much at stake I can't possibly drop everything and just move....that's not my M.O.

Here's to better days!
Namaste,
Steph

Accept Yourself by The Smiths

After being MIA from my very own blog I have decided to blog once more......

So I am listening to my Smiths Pandora station while trying to finish some notes for work....long over due notes too. :( It's probably going to get me into trouble too :( Enough with work talk....it is still the weekend after all lol

Anyways so I am listening to this song Accept Yourself by the Smiths and it really called out to me. Here are the lyrics to Accept Yourself:

Every day you must say
So, how do I feel about my life ?
Anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
When will you accept yourself ?
I am sick and I am dull
And I am plain
How dearly I'd love to get carried away
Oh, but dreams have a knack of just not coming true
And time is against me now...oh
Oh, who and what to blame ?
Oh, anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
When will you accept yourself, for heaven's sake ?
Anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
Every day you must say
Oh, how do I feel about the past ?
Others conquered love - but I ran
I sat in my room and I drew up a plan
Oh, but plans can fall through (as so often they do)
And time is against me now...

And there's no-one left to blame
Oh, tell me when will you ...
When will you accept your life ?
(The one that you hate)
For anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
Every day you must say
Oh, how do I feel about my shoes ?
They make me awkward and plain
How dearly I would love to kick with the fray ...
But I once had a dream (and it never came true)
And time is against me now...
Time is against me now...
And there's no one but yourself to blame
Oh, anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
Anything is hard to find; for heaven's sake !
Anything is hard to find
When you will not open your eyes
When will you accept yourself ?
When ?
When ?
When ?
When ?

So what do you think about the song? Just to set the record, any Smiths or Morrissey songs usually end up being really broody or moody so yeah lol I really like the song :)

Story of my life!