First of all hello everyone out there that may possibly read this blog.
So lately I have been feeling a little under the weather....actually a little is an understatement. I don't know if its just that I have a case of the blues or if its something else. Is it just that I am still in the adjusting process? I don't know really I can't really tell you for sure.
These last couple of weeks have been beyond stressful and overwhelming....not to mention that I have tons of homework for school and I can't manage it. My grades have already started a downward spiral....and I really can't afford that right now.
I am at the point where I really do want to quit everything and go MIA for awhile. I wish I could say that I am super excited and happy with the new employment but the truth is I am not. I can't seem to deal with the situations like I should be and that in itself is really draining any little bit of energy I have left. Also to add insult to injury I am beginning to think that maybe just maybe the career I have chosen isn't the one that is suited for me. I don't feel passionate about it. I mean I like it, but I guess I always liked it in theory only. Now that I have started working somewhat in it I see that perhaps it isn't what I want. I have always believed that your career should be one that we are passionate about, one that we can't wait to get up in the morning to go to. As should be the case at the moment....that is soooo not the case with me.
So what do I do now?? Do I continue and finish this because I started it or do I stop, rewind and redo things the way I would have liked? I seriously hate quitting things so you can see why I am having such a huge issue....but at the same time I can't continue to be unhappy just because I want to finish something. I need my heart to be in this otherwise I am going to be in huge trouble. Part of me also thinks it might be an issue with responsibility, but I have always had responsibility and I have always been responsible. The point I just don't get any fulfillment from the employment....none at all. In fact at the end of the day I feel worse =( I just can't deal with all of the things that go on.
Like I said I like this profession.....in theory, but maybe the timing wasn't right. Maybe I wasn't ready for it (school/work) and maybe I should have waited like I said I was. I should have taken a break, thought about it (thought it out completely) and then proceeded forward depending on my conclusion.
I am in a serious pickle guys.....I either quit or I find a way to deal with all of this that is going on.
Im sorry about the negativity guys, it's not usually like me. I hope it didn't bring anyone down....this was more of a venting device for me.
I wish you all a great week, take care, peace and much love
Steph
There are very few in this life that are permanent my dear and we can change a lot of things. I think if you are this unhappy in your new job then quit dude. We are told that we make decision about a person within second of meeting them does this not apply to a job as well? Obviously not within seconds but you have been there for a little while now so I'm sure you've learned that you don't like it. Find something that you do want to do, it sucks when you're stuck in a job or situation that you don't want to be in.
ReplyDeleteAnd Steph, there's no need to apologize for being "negative". We're all human and go through various emotions, unfortunately negativity is one of them. Keep your chin up kid and good luck on your decision.
I agree here, no need to apologize for being negative! We all are. My blog posts lately have been negative & I too wish I could go MIA. I hate being negative but I feel like the blogs really help put my emotions at ease & help me relax even if it is just for that moment.
ReplyDeleteSo, here's my thought on this b/c I've been there. I can honestly say that my best job; the one I enjoyed the most was working for the police dept. I loved going in to work, doing data entry, wondering what the case of the day would be. Granted, I only made copies of paperwork, but still, it was an interesting subject for me. I love helping people; always have & being able to translate for someone was great for me. I've always done that so this was no exception.
I worked Saturdays too & I didn't mind at all surprisingly. I enjoyed it b/c it got me up early & out of the house. Then I had all day to do whatever I wanted. It was great! However, every job after that has been a struggle; not something I truly enjoyed! The thing is that it was a job, a job at a time when you either work or loose what you have.
I didn't have the option of quitting my job & doing nothing so I stuck it out. However, you do have that option & if it's making you miserable, then leave it! There's nothing worse than going to a job where DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE AT ALL. The good thing is, that you will find something else you'll truly enjoy doing.
Also for the sake of discovering that this profession isn't really something you like or want now, it's a good thing you discovered this now before you finished it. Is there something else you can do, that? Sometimes you'll be amazed at the possibilities you have that don't exactly follow in the path of your degree.
It's not considered quitting if you are simply changing your profession. Many people do it during the course of their life which is why you see middle aged individuals going back to school. Nobody will look down upon you for taking control of your own life & pursuing a career you enjoy even if it means starting over.
Going back to the whole police dept. thing, while I did enjoy my job at the time & look back on it with great joy, I wouldn't want to go back to doing data entry. It was nice when I was 16 but I've outgrown that. It's a dead end job with no true room for advancement.
ReplyDeleteWhat I did discover was that I enjoyed reading the cases & it was something I was particularly interested in. So, I'm still debating what I want to do in the future. More than likely I will pursue my dream of being a lawyer & thankfully for my current career choice, WHEN I choose to open my own law firm, I will have that knowledge base to help me. :) So you see, it wasn't a total waste of my time & it doesn't have to be for you either! ;)
Think about what it was that attracted you to the profession to begin with, what is it about it you don't like? Perhaps you'll find that you're not totally off track & you can still pursue it.
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