You know whats fascinating to me? Everything. But for some reason I just haven't been feeling the same way for a while now. I wasn't sure if it was something that was just in my mind or what, but after a brief discussion I had with my mom I guess I have been acting differently lately. She noticed that I appear to not give a damn about anything anymore....and honestly that's probably right on the button. I just don't care about anything. For example, my poor kitty ran out of food yesterday (mind you she still had her canned food) and I couldn't make myself get out of the house to go buy her food. My mom noticed this because she's used to me running out and getting my cat food as soon as she needed it.
I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like myself. I feel like I am in limbo. Its kind of starting to scare me because, well this isn't me. I don't know if it is all related to the accident last month, if im still adjusting or what. But all I know is that I haven't been feeling 100% for sometime now. And for someone close to me to let me know that I have changed and that they noticed somethings off it's pretty scary.
Honestly I just hope that its my nervous system recovering from being all shaken up and what not. I pray that things get better....soon because this moping around feeling all blah is not working for me, I don't like it at all.
A cure all for this feeling? I would say a nice long vacation away from everything that is bogging me down....everything lately. I need out of Yuma, would anyone like to join me in LA, NY or London?? :) Yea right, theres too much at stake I can't possibly drop everything and just move....that's not my M.O.
Here's to better days!
Namaste,
Steph
It's sad, my happy little world hasn't been very happy lately :(
ReplyDeleteI want the happy back damn it!
I feel ya Steph. I've been in this position quite a few times unfortunately and no, I'm not talking about being in all those accidents. It's the feeling of not giving a damn that just creeps up out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteI attributed it to stress and, dare I say it, depression. No body really likes to say that they are depressed, but in times like these who isn't feeling like this?
Recently I've been feeling this immense pressure on my head and shoulders. It's like something is pushing on my me harder and harder each day, waiting to see me break. It's so frustrating! >.<
I hope you can return to your happy world, Steph! I'm sure you will soon. :)
CriminologyNerd Yea I think that is what is scaring me the most because thats not typical me. You are very right, it's almost like taboo to say we are depressed....but it happens and it happens a lot and like you said due to the strains everyone is facing now days its kind of hard to not feel blue.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds very frustrating :( I have been kind of feeling that way too. I guess the only thing we can do is try to change the way we react to and percieve everything around us....which just so happens to be the hardest part. You know what? In order to deal with the stress I think we need to take a mental health day (those actually exist!! :)) and go on a road trip!!
I really do pray that we all return to our happy little worlds....and soon.
ROAD TRIP! Ah, if only I could afford one! :( The beach has been calling my name for over a month now and I've so let it down. LOL.
ReplyDeleteRoad trip, road trip, road trip!!! That would be the best. awww well don't let the beach down, it is depending on you lol If i didn't have to pay for all this crap for school I would totally pay for a road trip.....we all need to go on a road trip soon. :)
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